You're My Refuge .

I dont know why i got jealous .

2012-02-09T22:54:00.004+08:00

I kinda miss the guy who always make me laugh .The guy who once said he wants to protect me . The guy i hurt the most . I guess , i'm just being too lonely .i just want someone to be by my side .

I know i'm being selfish ,

I cant give him anything and yet im hoping so much from him .

How much i wish you were still here .

2012-01-29T17:31:00.004+08:00

I miss you .

If i keep waiting , will i able to wait for the day you hug me in your arms again ?

Chinese New Year 2012 ! :D

2012-01-26T09:42:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year , people !

I know my post is kinda late , but still let the picure talk !

Epic ! credits to my daddy :D

Went to the Melaka seaside on the first day at hometown

Delicious reunion dinner

Cho Yi :P

One of the famous temple in Melaka

I pray for my pmr good result here last year too !

Bbq party ! :D

Guess what ? I really like kids alot .

I guess i had lotsa fun this Chinese New Year . Have lotsa fun playing with those kids . HAHA .

Was finally back to my sweet home the third afternoon of CNY.

And , its time for homework

I feel like crying looking at those stack of books

D':

2012-01-12T10:58:00.005+08:00

I'm sick .

when stacks of homeworks are piling up .

Essays .

作文。

fml.

Hectic life in form 4.

2012-01-08T09:17:00.012+08:00

Add Maths . Add Maths . Add Maths . Add Maths .

I guess , i wont be have time to blog every day or every week anymore . My form 4 schedule is so pack . I dont even have time for facebook everyday anymore !

LOL, but add least . My life isnt bored anymore . I'm going crazy because of Add Maths . Now , its just Add Maths , what about physics , biology , chemistry , accounts ?

yea D':

And conclution for last week , i just wanna say :

Screw Mr. LCM for teaching us Modern Maths !
wtf.

Other than that , i guess i had lotsa 'fun' last week . Have been doing Add maths for the past 2 nights . Gotta familiar with add maths before the teachers start the other 'crazy' subject !

I miss Mr. Teng very much .

First day at school .

2012-01-04T20:32:00.002+08:00

As i walked in the school , the school compound was surrounded by lotsa unfamiliar faces . The form 3's are all over the place , being excited for their first day of morning school . Its also means that, i'm officially form 4 now . I dont know why , that moment i wish i'm form 3 .

thou , i'm kinda happy that i'm form 4 now , i feel a new fresh year . Everything is gonna be different . Maybe exciting , maybe boring , maybe disappointing , maybe lonely .

When i meet my friends today , somehow something hits me . For the pass two years , i've been hating my school , very very much . I even have the urge to transfer school . And i thought , i wouldnt feel miserable and i wouldnt miss my school . But today , looking at all my friends , i think this is where i belong . If one day , i really transfer school , i will miss them alot alot . I will miss this school also . Because it contains lotsa unhappy and happy times .

So , today , once again , they gave me hopes .

I dont hate my school , as much as i thought . and maybe , i hate my school , because i loved them . Loved them for giving me so much precious memories , loved them for teaching me to grow up . Loved them for everything and everything that makes me happy , makes me sad .

and , i wish they wouldnt take my friends away from me . They are the only hope , and only thing left . I wish and i really wish , i could be in the same class with my dearest friend for the next two years of high school . They are my happiness . Studying in a class without their laughter , will be my biggest regrets next time .

So , i truly hopes that , they can change my friends back to our class . They deserves it .

Form 4 , i love you . So please love me back .

A day more to go

2012-01-03T10:01:00.004+08:00

I'm really looking forward to school starts !

::)

2012 .

2012-01-01T21:46:00.018+08:00

Its the first day of 2012 , thou not much different then the rest of my days . A new year can be 365 days difference or 1 second difference . But in this just one second there's people shading tears , there's people hoping for a new start .

And for me , I don't know what have I done in this 365 days . I feel that I've gone through this 365 days doing nothing . I wish I had left something important in someone life . I wish someone have left something memorable and meaningful in my life . Maybe there is , but for this minute , this second I felt that I'm no one .

Every year , every of my year is like a big circle . At the beginning of the year , there will be someone by my side . But as time goes on , everything right in the beginning goes wrong in the end . When i reach the end of my circle , there's only me alone .

Last year , I thought he's someone who will finish the whole circle with me . But. it's. just. all. I. thought.

He left me with pieces .

我不知道为什么，除了他，我什么都不记得了。

其实，我真的很不喜欢这样，

我不要我的每个回忆里，只剩下抛弃我的他。

January 2011

我任为，以后的每一天，都是充满希望的，

如果，我没爱上他。

February 2011
I think i'm in love .

My first valentine's night party at Jenny's house .

*with a bunch of unknown friends of my best friend*

March 2011
I thought we will go on like that forever .

Actually had lotsa fun with them , taking picture with the girls ,

ate food that bbq-ed by the boys , we should really organize more class activities.

其实，如果我能够更融入他们，他们会是值得纪念的回忆。

April 2011
I wish , time could stop here forever .

May 2011
He said he love me , he said he will love me forever . He said he will come back .

I had my first dance , really silly dance but at least its a new try

June 2011

First time being leader , and i fail like shit !

I join blue house marching for the first time , not very success but still i met nice people

My dearest friend gave me a birthday surprise ! I love them so much .

July 2011

Everything was a mess . But if i look at it now , there's lotsa memorable things happen in those mess i made . Just that , at that moment one sad thing covered everything .

Pameran day . He's really tall , not my fault :p

Bon odori . I had lotsa fun taking picture and dancing around with Jacklyn and Amelia .

Glad i invited them :D

August 2011

I feel cheated .

I deacticated my facebook account and start studying . 2 months before . I guess its my first time studying so early for exams :P

September 2011

Study . Study . Study . Study . Concentrate . Concentrate . I think i'm grounded .

October 2011

Exam . Exam . Exam . Exam . And then finally . Holidays started !

Dance practice at selena's gym . Its my second dance performance

Before school holiday started , we went a trip to Pusat Sains Negara !

Just too bad that i was having cold war with joan that time

:'(

Our second dance in PPS MTM 2011 . I guess , i really lack of talent in dancing .

But having real fun shuffling for so many time ! :D

November 2011.

I called him for the very last time .He told me that everything was just a lie , i was just being fooled .I'm tired of not believing that he's cheating on me , all this while . And then , i deleted all the messages i kept , and everything about him . I kept everything that he gave me to somewhere there i will never want to look at it anymore . I decided , its time to let go , to give up . But , weird thing is , when i talked to him over the phone , knowing all the truth that he told me , my heart dosent hurt much . Its like talking to an old friend about what we've been through .

Eu-Hong is leaving :(

Happy Birthday , honey .

December 2011

I guess when things are hopeless , when you're tired to even think about it , when you're tired of getting hurt by those meaningless puppy love stff , you will finally wake up , and realize that everything was just like a joke .

I'm. just. like. a. joke.

But i dunno why , everytime when i'm tired , i'm sad , i'm down , there's someone around making me laugh . There is someone always by my side . And because of him , i could feel the sunshine again , i gain hope . Thou , he's just a friend to me , but it make me feels that i'm not alone .

Well , actually after looking at all those picture . I think i had lotsa fun in 2011 too . Because i have great friends . They made my life . They gave me lotsa happiness . They are really someone so special to me . I feel really sorry for them . I'm sorry for hurting their feelings . I'm sorry for making them feel that they not important to me . I'm sorry for hiding all my feelings from them . But after all this things , they make me realize that without them , i will be really no one .

And , another major thing i face in 2011 is PMR . I dont think i manage to accomplish my study time table . But at least , i get my dream result . Well , actually one of the reason i wanted to get 8 A's is because of the angpaos that i will get . hehe :p

And , i'm glad that PMR distracted me.

I think 2011 is slightly beter than 2010 . Because i remind myself again and again not to repeat the same foolish mistake like last time . Thou , i really force myself really hard not to think about sad things . I keep telling myself to appreciate appreciate and appreciate . Enjoy everything and forget about what had passed .

Anyway , for 2012 I wish I could be someone .

I wish I could accomplish something that will leave a big impact in my high school life .

I wish I can do all my best and enjoy the rest of my high school life to my hearts' content .

I wish I could be a very good friend , a responsible leader and an active student .

I wish , our friendship will go on and on , till the very end of our life .

I don't want to end my high school life being no one and regretting for the rest of my life .

Let's go , 2012 !

今年，我不想我的回忆里只出现一个人。

我希望，我的高一能制造更多的美好回忆。

2011-12-22T21:11:00.002+08:00

Sometimes ,
I'm tired of realizing how useless am i .
:/

PMR RESULT ! :D

2011-12-22T14:58:00.005+08:00

I finally get my PMR results today ! Well i almost cant get my result back cuz i wasnt wearing my school uniform today . Luckily my mum is around . Actually did they ask us to wear school uniforms ? I really got no memories about it , maybe i've been holiday for more than 2 months ! haha i guess its my longest holidays ever !

And and and , as what i dream for , i get 8As !

Somehow it reminds me when we're taking for UPSR result . Time really flies huh . I'm already going form 4 in two weeks time . I'm turning 16 !

Things are getting harder . I could already feel the pressure of form 4&5 and SPM . I dunno how will i be doing . Cuz everything is gonna be totally different and harder and tougher .

And , also most importantly , Happy Dong Zhi Festival :)

For 2012 , i wish for my friends and family to be safe and sound .
For 2012 , i wish for my friends and family to be happy .
For 2012 , i wish for happiness to everyone who cares about me .
For 2012 , i wish for my life to be more happier and fun.
For 2012 , i wish i could still grow tall *wish so much for this !*
For 2012 , i wish i could slim down . :P

For 2012 , i wish there is no the end of the world yet .

HAHA xD

Facebook are full of PMR results ! LOL

-

2011-12-21T23:05:00.004+08:00

我们只是爱上了自己的不甘心，
我们只是执着于我们的不甘心。

我对于你，只是场意外；你对于我，却是一场爱情。一个人自以为刻骨铭心的回忆，别人早已经忘记了。有些人的恋爱，仅仅是爱上了“恋爱”。 ——专一不是一辈子只喜欢一个人，是喜欢一个人的时候一心一意。

总以为，我们很爱某个人，会一生一世地爱下去，等下去，直到沧桑变色，海枯石烂。当所有人都告诉我们，不要执迷，他其实并没有你想象的好，但我们，宁可相信自己给自己编织的童话，也不愿相信身边人说的。

总以为，爱上了一个人，我们就必须是一辈子不变心，总以为我们是能等到冥冥中的缘份再度重逢。千里姻缘一线牵，当云雾散尽，当两条相交线错开，我们才知道自己不过是当局者迷。

总以为自己很爱某个人，爱到会为他做任何事，爱到华丽的背景下直到你那一记落寞地转身。谁先不爱，谁先离开。总觉得，第一个转身的人是最好的，看着最爱的人远去，我们以为就是一辈子，这一辈子，就他了，除他，我们谁都不会再爱。

心已经对感情麻木了，泪已经流尽，还有什么是自己该一直坚守，一直等候的呢？有些东西，也许并没有像我们想象的那样美好，我们也没有像自己想象的那样脆弱。

问一句，失去他，你真的会去死吗？也许那一刻是的，但十天后呢，一百天后呢，几年后呢？某一天，你忽然醒来，也许你自己都会想，为什么，曾经自己那么放不下，为什么，我们当时会那么地要死不活？
其实，我们爱的只是一种心情。来时如百花绚烂，去时如茶荼散尽。我们舍不得的不是别的，只是无谓的不甘心。为什么，在我还爱你的时候你却先不爱了？为什么，当初你那么爱我现在却变得那么冷漠？在心底里问下自己那些话的时候，其实我们就已经不是在单纯地爱这个人了，我们只是爱上了自己的不甘心。骨子里，没有一个人甘心比别人差，谁都希望自己的一切都是美的，无人可比的。

我们想着王子公主天真的爱情，忘记了，我们其实是生活在现实中，很多事情必须建立在现实的基础上。爱上一个人，我们其实是爱上一种感觉，只有他才能给的感觉。不爱一个人，就是因为感觉没了。不爱了就是不爱了，再勉强自己也没有用。

如果问你，你会怀念曾经爱过的人什么？一定不会是山盟海誓，有的其实是更多很细小的细节。哄你，呵护你，疼你，也可能因为一次的误会，一次久久不来地等候。

我们说会等一个人，其实等的已经不是这个人了，只是一种心情，不甘心忽然在的人说离开就离开了。如果他重新回来，你，还会一如既往地爱他，包容他的一切吗？不要那么轻易地说会，用你的心说，你，真的会吗？

陷在感情中无法自拔的你，在这个分手的季节里，真的领悟到了吗？对曾经的那个人，也许你真的很爱过，但你不过是爱那个不可能得到的背影和那已经摸不着的回忆。所以，何不选择就此放下，因为，我们自己希望我们自己幸福，我们要自己成全自己幸福……

时间，总会教会我们成长。总有一天，不需要别人的劝解，不需要刻意的去遗忘，有的事情，我们真的就那样放下了。

其实我们怀恋的早已经不是那个人了，而是那份我们曾经为之付出过努力过的爱情。

有句话说，不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。不知道有多少人崇拜这句话，也不知道有多少人看到这句话会叹息，总之，我们拥有的时候要懂得珍惜，失去了，那就把它当成一笔财富，青春岁月里，那些见证着我们成长，陪伴着我们走过许多个年头的梦，最最美好财富，一辈子，有多少青春可以让我们回味和痛惜？

有的事情，一辈子就那么一次而已。

有的事情，一辈子坚持那么一次，就已经足够了.

#share facebook

夏日乐悠悠 ❤

2011-12-20T19:03:00.008+08:00

从前有个渔夫爱上了一个女孩
但女孩总是把心藏在海底渔夫怎样都打捞不到
只好把自己变成一个厨师他试着把女孩的心做成一道甜点
好让他品尝的时候感觉女孩的存在。

很感人的故事，值得一看。

一杯酒，一个朋友♥

2011-12-15T16:56:00.003+08:00

Teeheeeee

I'm bored at home :DD

But fail :'(

Have been doing lotsa stuff these days .

Monday , i tried to bake a cake ! but also Fail . well not totally fail , just the temperature problem . So we just cut the burnt part and eat the inside one .

Then today , my mum bake pizza !

After such a long time , i finally get to eat my mum's cook pizza .

And other than Heartstring ( which is super duper triple sweeeettt *screams*) , i'm also watching a china version of Yi Zhi Mei . Quite touching one , nah i guess i get touched easily .

"一杯酒，一个朋友。"

Friendship is really something that warms our heart .

Appreciate .

2011-12-11T17:48:00.001+08:00

FUCK YOU .

I hate Malaysia .

Yellow Ferrari :D

2011-12-10T19:29:00.004+08:00

I've got nothing to say about this .

Just , fascinating .

Heartstring ♥

2011-12-08T22:24:00.006+08:00

Downloading this korean drama to watch ! Jung Yong Hwa !!! Oh My God , he's just so hot :D Cant wait to watch this drama . In You're Beautiful , Park Shin Hye ended up with Jang Geun Seok and left Jung Yong Hwa alone . Finally in this drama , they get to be together .

Arghhhhhhhhh

I love Jung Yong Hwa !

Really omg lar , how can korean guys be so handsome and so hot ? I really really feel like meeting them . Breathtaking . Breathtaking . Breathtaking . Next time , i'll surely go to korean once again and meet them and get their signature . I know i'm dreaming again , but i really really wish that i could meet them .

I guess , i'm becoming a crazy fan . Park Shi Hoo , Jung Yong Hwa , Lee Min Ho , Yoo Seung Ho , they are just so hot ! There's still alot alot more i know , but this four really makes me goes crazy for them . Geezz .

OMG . OMG . OMG . OMG .

2011-12-08T21:16:00.002+08:00

Somehow ' I Love You ' this three words ,

sounds stupid to me now .

Just think that i'm too young to know what love is .

Maybe , i dosent even know how to love someone .

Or maybe i never love anyone .

But , i guess i did .

Just that i forgot what is the feelings of loving someone .

***

And i feel like thank you someone .

He's always there to make me happy .

And , he's the only one left .

The only one that cares about me , i think ?

Thou , i dont know what am i to him now .

Thou , i know i'm just grateful for him , for making me laugh .

Nothing much .

Just feel relieved.

:D

2011-12-08T20:42:00.007+08:00

It seems that i really did lotsa silly things for him .

Nevermind , at least it stop me from going crazy .

But i know , i will never forget you . You gave me too much . Its hard to find someone like you , or someone better than you . But i'm sure one day i will meet one , better than you .

I will never forget you , but i will not love you anymore .

Btw , guys please never look down at classical songs . It may look easy but when you played it , it is really hard . But classical songs are really nice . Kinda just found out a nice song today , Nocturne C sharp minor - Chopin . Then i google search for the sheet music , at first i thought it was easy because it really look easy , at least than other classical songs . But when i try it on my piano , i was like wth ? Why so hard one ?!

But at least , now i got something to do . I got a song that i wanna learned . Actually i'm really sucks at classical songs , but i really like this song , i hope i wont give up half away again .

Holiday passes so fast , only 3 weeks to go !

Somehow i wish holiday could be longer thou i'm rottening at home .

I guess , i'm just being really lazy .

Really , really lazy .

And fat .

-.-

I swear i will burn some fats off before school start .
I hope so .

回忆真难受。

2011-12-05T16:47:00.003+08:00

我想，就算以后，

我也不会和其他男人来这个地方。

因为，这里有你的味道。

因为，这里只有属于我们的甜蜜时光。

因为，我还是有点自私的想保存所有关于你的一切。

2011-12-01T21:33:00.002+08:00

Hang out with friends tomorrow .

I hope it will be fun !

你们的世界，我早已融不去。

2011-12-01T21:28:00.004+08:00

Dont know why , feel so sad .

Sad. Sad. Sad . EMOTIONAL .

They got their new group of friends . They got their new life .

And , i got mine too .

But still , i'm jealous .

somehow i regret .

But i know , i shouldnt regret . I should appreciate what i have now .

But still , i couldnt help to feel that way .

They dont need me anymore , but i miss them .

Miss the olden days we play around together .

Miss the olden days we can talk for hours .

Miss the olden days we study together .

Miss the olden days .

So much .

I felt this way , but i bet they dont . Because their life now is much interesting.

We were best friends .

once .

感触。

2011-11-25T14:04:00.001+08:00

你所浪费的今天，是昨天死去的人奢望的明天；

你所厌恶的现在，是未来的你回不去的曾经。

Finally :)

2011-11-23T20:07:00.006+08:00

Finally , i get to watch that movie today ! After 30 minutes of struggling and discussion , we decided to try our luck and just buy the ticket . And luckily , we get to go in ! Its a pg18 movie , the salesgirl told me lotsa people lied their age just to watch this movie , just like us . I lied that i'm over 18 today . And i really look over 18 today .

HAHA !

We also met a senior there , a form 6 senior , just to get away from their suspection , we follow them in . And yes , we get to go in ! Finally , after months , i get to watch this movie .

As what i thought , i knew i would be really emotional when i watch this movie . Its not really very very very touching movie , is just a simple story that i think most people has gone through in their high school . Its touching , because is so real . It remind people about their high school life . High school , is a place that gave us alot of memories . Sometimes , something simple and real , is what touches the heart the most .

Luckily , i'm not graduated from high school yet . Because if i watch this movie when i'm 20+ , i think i will cry out . I'll be more emotional, because it will really reminds me lotsa memories . I know , when i get older later , i will wish that time could turn back , turn back to now .

Is a sad ending , but the ending is so real . I know , maybe if they put an end with a good ending , i will be really really happy . But this ending , give me another feeling , a real feeling . Not everything end with a good ending . Because when there is good ending , there is always sad ending for another people .

I dont like the ending . It brokes my heart . But i like that ending . Its so real .

LOL

I know , i'm talking nonsense . I like that movie overall , but i really think that they should change the bridegroom into someone more handsome . Handsome and mature looking , not just mature looking .

I totally agree that , girls is always more mature then boys of the same age . But i dont know , next time when the man i loved gets married , can i wish him happiness with another girl ?

世界上最心痛的是，相爱的人不能在一起。或许，轲景藤和沈佳仪真的不适合在一起，他们有勇气去追，却没有勇气去爱。如果轲景藤有勇气去知道答案，或许他们的下场会不一样。如果沈佳仪有勇气面对在一起后的困难与挫折，或许他们的结局会不一样。可是如果，只是如果。

错过的，就不会再回来。

回来的，就不会再完美。

所以，错过的爱，就放松把，代表他不是你的。

所以，要珍惜身边的每个人，不要等错过了才来后悔。

现实就是那么残忍，回忆就是那么心痛。

每个人，都有属于自己的秘密。

自己的回忆。

I should have stick to my thoughts .

2011-11-22T20:25:00.001+08:00

You and me are totally different people with different thoughts and different opinion . You totally don't understand me and don't get what I always said .

And for the same , I totally disagree with your thoughts ever since I started learning how to think on my own .

That's why both of us have lotsa difficulties in communicating .
That's is why I never want to talk to you anything about what I think .
Because before even I tell or ask you ,I know I wouldn't like what you are going to tell me . It's not that I don't like , it's just that I disagree .

The way you do , the way you think , are totally different from me .

Not that I dislike you , its just that every people have different thoughts . Just like everyone has different story .

.

2011-11-22T19:42:00.002+08:00

You are not wrong , He's not wrong too .

Maybe you two really loves each other alot alot , but somehow dont you feel that you two cant get along well ? Really is not your fault . Its just that both of ur personalities are just like water and fire . You two cant get along even thou you guys love each other .

他太大男人主义了，他的占有欲很强。可，他也是个和安静的人，常常把心事藏在心里，因为不会表达出去。他也以为太爱你，所以一再的包容你，让你，可是因为那是他的天性，他在怎么包容，有一天也会爆发得。而你呢，你的个性太屈强，你其实不懂得体谅他，你不明白为什么他的占有欲要那么强。你受不了他的这种个性。

所以，你们或许真的不是和在一起。

除非，你们两个都愿意体谅对方，愿意包容对方。

一方的体谅和包容，是不足够的。

有时，你要体谅她，有时，他要体谅你。

我希望，你能想清楚，你自己要的是什么。

而且，我相信，就算没有他，你也会活得很好。

-

2011-11-21T22:02:00.003+08:00

You know , you guys really look good together . I've always thought that way , even now .

But once again , i feel like gang bang that asshole who broke her heart once again . He should have give up earlier and not hurting her once again .

They look good together , but things dosent work out between them .

She hasnt blog for a long time . But somehow , i got an instinct that she updated her blog . Because of that stupid asshole who broke her heart . And i was right . She did updated her blog because of him . Just like me when that guy broke my heart too . When you think , there is no one you can talk too , when you just wanted to be alone but you need something to makes you feel better . And you will think of blogging . Because , for that moment , nothing can describe your feelings better than words .

I understand that feelings too . suffocated .

After all those heartbreaks i've gone through , I wouldnt ask her to think about one day maybe he will come back . I wouldnt ask her to think about maybe he still loves her . I wouldnt ask her to wait for him . Because i feel that , you guys really needs space . You really needs some space . You need space to explore better people around you . You need space to breathe new air . You need space to grow up and understand what is love .

Thats why i ask you to forget him , at least for now . Maybe one day he might come back to you again , and tell you that he was wrong and to forgive him . But why suffer now for the future that you have no idea about it ?

Both of us are still young , very young to understand what love is .

But if it's yours , it's yours .

Just move on .

But I believe in her , she will get through it in no time . She will , because that's my girl :)

I dont know what to do ,

but i will always stay by your side ,

when you needs me .

Movie fever :D

2011-11-20T18:12:00.009+08:00

You are the apple of my eye .

你是我最珍贵的人。

♥

I wanna watch i wanna watch ! I really wanna watch this movie ! Lotsa friends has watch this movie dy . I also wanna watch breaking dawn . Might going out for my second outings during this holiday with my friends next week . So , i really dont know should i watch breaking dawn or you are the apple of my eye . I wanna watch both ! :(

Breaking dawn and you are the apple of my eye feel like a 18++ movie . Thats why i think is more suitable to watch both of them with my friends . I dont know why i really feel awkward when i'm watching those kissing scene with my families 0.0

And and and .

I had almost rotten at home for one and half month dy . I dont really want time to pass so fast although i'm rottening . I dont want school holidays to end so fast . Another month to go, i wish i can do something meaningful during the holidays .

I want to learn cooking .

I want to bake cakes .

I want to keep fit .

I want to improve my english .

I want to strengthen my general knowledge .

But , i want to sleep too .

I'm bored till I think last week i even watch an anime about gays . I know they are just animated characters . But they really look so handsome -.- And i feel kinda sad that the anime i watch is about gay . Its not that i look down at them , just that i feel so so sad :/

I think i shoud really end my holiday faster . Then i wont be so lazy pig .,.

I want to live in animated world .

I want to go korea .

I want a hot korean boyfriend .

I want a boyfriend who loves me alot alot .

nah , but i'm still lazy to get in love .

顺其自然就好 :D

HAHAHAHAHA , i'm dreaming again.

:')

.

2011-11-18T22:43:00.005+08:00

Tonight , i decided to become someone cheerful again .

I want to make full use of my life .

I want my life to be full of joys and happiness .

I will try to face every problem i met in live positively .

Thou , i cant promise that i wont hide myself in a corner sometimes , but i'll try my best .

I will reread this post again and again whenever i get depressed.

I want to change sorrow into happiness .

Because , that is still someone who cares about me .

I want to find my old self back .

2011-11-18T22:14:00.004+08:00

其实，我真的很喜欢很喜欢，和疯疯癫癫的人在一起。

久违的幸福♥

2011-11-18T21:56:00.004+08:00

其实，有时候就算被很普通的朋友关心一下，

我也会觉得很幸福。

虽然只是不经意的关心，却足以温暖我的心。

他，真的是一个好男人，我从很久很久以前就早已知道。

我却没有那个福气去拥有他。

因为曾经，我带给他的只是一次又一次的伤害。

因为曾经，我没有去珍惜。

曾经，被这样的一个男人追过，我真的觉得很幸福，

谢谢你，喜欢过我。

我只能祝福你，找到你心目中的沈佳仪。

.

2011-11-18T21:00:00.003+08:00

Somehow i feel that you're different now .

The way you talk to me now is different .

Is it because you changed ? or i changed ?

Is it because i know too much ? or you really changed ?

不想:'(

2011-11-18T20:38:00.003+08:00

说实话，虽然你永远也不可能再属于我，

可我却不希望你离开。

因为，

如果你离开了，我会更加想念你。

如果你没离开，至少我可以假装以为你还在我身边。

我可以，假装我忘记你了。

:'(

2011-11-17T21:23:00.001+08:00

很多时候，我们都爱过痛过吵过恨过

可，最在乎的却只是曾经拥有过。

为什么，每次每次，

都只是我一个在自导自演？

Yea , i feel like saying fuck you !

2011-11-17T21:07:00.002+08:00

其实，更多时候，我只是在寻找一个对我一心一意的人，

一个，愿意等我等到最后的人。

真的就那么难吗？

我想说，我的心有点痛:(

2011-11-17T21:01:00.003+08:00

我快支撑不住了，

我好累。

好恨。

其实，恨不一定因为爱。

奇怪的感觉。

2011-11-17T13:13:00.001+08:00

昨晚，我好像做了一场梦。

因为昨晚所有发生的事情，真的好不真实。

亲爱的 ♥

2011-11-17T13:06:00.003+08:00

我喜欢和朋友一起疯疯癫癫的日子。

或许旁人会觉得我们疯了，没教养，

可是，至少我们是快乐的。

像疯了般哈哈大笑。

像疯了般大喊大叫。

你们，不觉得痛快吗？

Negatively :(

2011-11-17T07:44:00.001+08:00

. I'm being negative once again .

Why put the blame on other people when I'm the one who gets it wrong ?

Swee Lynn put yourself up . Don't think of anything useless and stupid again .

果然也只是个烂好人。

2011-11-17T07:13:00.001+08:00

I'm disappointed at you .

Somehow I thought you were a little different than him , but I thought wrong . Two of you are just the same .

I dosent need your pity . I'm fine even without you . So you dosent need to pretent that you care about me .

Don't play around with people's feelings . Don't do things that will make people misunderstand .

I feel that I get cheated again . I almost get cheated again .

Luckily I found out .

Good news ? Bad news ?

2011-11-16T23:46:00.002+08:00

LOL , i guess i just misunderstood him .

Should i be happy ? That things actually not what i thought , and its going the way i wanted ? I dosent need to think complicated stuff how to solve this problem . I dosent need to hurt anyone just because of my naive thinking and depressed attitude ?

But somehow , i feel kinda hurt .

The things you told me arent real , or maybe i should say i misunderstood you ?

i guess , i really just misunderstood you . Because all this while you never care also . I'm the only one who cares and i'm the only one who thinks that as a problem .

I should be happy . You're not mine . And you're never mine .

Sorry , i misunderstood you .

I guess i really need space and time .

Friendship ♥

2011-11-15T21:16:00.001+08:00

Thank you . If you ever there for me .

Because they mean alot to you .

2011-11-15T21:15:00.000+08:00

I hate to love , but i'm loving again .

2011-11-15T21:13:00.001+08:00

Love is hurt .

But i couldnt stop loving .

Because its the only thing that could pick up the pieces of me .

I wish it was me .

2011-11-15T21:08:00.001+08:00

As i look at everyone around me who has happiness and love ,

i think " i wish that was me ".

Tiring day .

2011-11-15T20:52:00.002+08:00

I lost your number .

My school was such a mess this morning . System was not ready . Money had not arrived . Office crowded with parents and students . Students cursing . Parents complaining could be heard all around the school . I wonder , how did the SPM student did their exams this morning ?

The time that we suppose to get our rm100 is actually 10am . But we end up taking the money at 11am . Well , we should be use to it . Its Malaysian's time . But i guess is not all the school fault . The government should distribute the money a day earlier for the schools to prepare .

Well , because of the crowded environment , i manage to sneak it and get my money without my parents and IC . Save all the problem for my mum to run up and down at least .

And then i went Pizza Hut which i've craving for a long time hoping my mum will take me for pizza . I know its fattening , but we live to enjoy life right ? I will go on my diet tomorrow , i will .

Then have a walk in Midvalley with my mum and sis and grandma . Finally my grandma gets to get out from the house after her heart operation last 2 month . Hope she will recover fast . Everytime i look at her , i just feel that she is getting older . Kinda heartache . Last time she use to bring us to the morning market , playground . But now , she cant anymore . She even use to tell us story b4 we go to sleep and even massage our leg and hand at night . Now , i think of it , i'm such a bad grandaughther , i've never do anything for her . My parents too , i've never done anything for them .Sometimes i even dont like to be with them , because i always feel awkward .

I'm such a ungrateful bad child .

I can only wish for them to be always happy and healthy .

没有所谓的最:)

2011-11-14T23:22:00.002+08:00

当你爱着一个人的时候，

你会觉得他是你最爱的人。

可是，当一切都过去了，

回想的时候，才发觉，有哪一次，你没有说过，曾经爱过的他们是你的最爱呢？

所以，世界上其实没有所谓的最爱。

直到，你遇到那个最后一个你爱上的人。

那个你最后一个爱上的人，才是你最爱的。

因为你最爱他，所以你无法再爱上别人。

现在回想起，

自己说过哪个他，是自己最爱的，

好像有种骗子的感觉。

我明明，就没有想像中的那么爱他们嘛！

突然觉得自己好花心。

笨蛋

2011-11-14T22:33:00.002+08:00

笨蛋，

对，就是在叫你。

我知道，你一定不会看到我写的这些，

可是我就是有话想对你说。

笨蛋，

你知道，曾经你这个名字呆在我电话里几久吗？

你知道，曾经我还因为电话里的这个名字，而向我妈妈撒谎了吗？

哈哈，想起来，那时的我还真好笑。

-,-

笨蛋，

你知道你的电话号码好容易记吗？

你以后，可不可以找一个超难记的号码呢？

你知不知道，虽然我早已把你从我的电话簿里删除，却还死不能忘记你的号码呢？

而且，不只一个。

你所有用过来与我通信的号码，我都还记得。

笨蛋，

你知道我为你哭过吗？

我不记得几多次了，

虽然不算很多，

却是到现在为止让我哭过最多次的人了。

笨蛋，

你还好吗？

你买给我的运动衣，

你送我的戒指，

你叫我保管的戒指，

你给我的猪兔子钥匙圈，

我们的合照，

我偷拍你的照片，

我真的不知道要拿来怎么办。

我不想再看到它们，却舍不得丢掉。

笨蛋，

你知道听到你的名字，

让我觉得很心痛吗？

笨蛋，

我没有想你了哦。

只是今天因为她来找我，所以才想再一次想你的，

所以，不要以为你对我来说有多重要。

笨蛋，

我们真的做不成朋友了，

真的无法成为你朋友了。

就算，不爱了，也很难做你朋友了。

因为，曾经深爱过。

笨蛋，

你追到你的沈佳仪了吗？

勇敢去爱吧！

不要再因为想要被爱，而死不放一个你不爱的人。

好好去爱，那个你爱的人。

好吗？

笨蛋，

你要好好生活，

知道吗？

笨蛋，

虽然我无法真心祝福你和你爱的人，

可是还是想祝福你，

找到属于你的那个人，

一起好好生活。

笨蛋，

虽然你没有爱过我，

虽然或许，你只是把我当作她的代替品，

可是，至少你给过我短暂的幸福。

这样，就够了。

笨蛋，

虽然有时候真的很想诅咒你，

虽然有时候真的很想大骂你一顿，

虽然有时候真的很想暴打你一顿，

虽然以后，我或许还会诅咒你很多次。

可是更多时候，我和你在一起的时候是快乐的。

笨蛋

谢谢你曾经出现在我的生活里。

不是朋友的朋友:)

2011-11-14T22:16:00.003+08:00

对我来说，她是一个很特别的人。

一个，我觉得很亲切的人。

有时像姐姐，有时像不是朋友的朋友，

有时，却像陌生人。

或许，是因为

曾经，我们用过同一个感情，同一个心

去爱同一个人。

就是因为这样，

所以有些事，我们只能对彼此说，

因为我们互相了解，

而别人，却不会了解，

因为他们不知道，

我们曾经是如何去爱那个人。

你，是其中一个我想珍惜的人。

感谢，上天让我遇见了你，

也感谢他，让我遇见了你。

有时会觉得不想再和你有任何联系，因为突然觉得没有必要了。

可是，有时我却希望，以后还会再遇见你。

不是因为那个人，而遇见你。

而因为，我们是朋友，我想再见到你。

我真心祝福你，

能够找到你想要的新生活。

我们，一起加油吧！

就让那个黄八蛋，埋在我们的过去，从我们的未来消失！

那些年我们一起追的女孩 ♥

2011-11-14T21:28:00.002+08:00

好想看这套戏啊！:(

"每個男孩心中，都有一個沈佳宜。"

''我想成為一個很厲害的人 , 讓這個世界因為有了我而有一點點的改變 , 而我的世界，不過就是妳的心''

女:"大笨蛋 ."

男:"大笨蛋才會追妳那麼久."

女:"幼稚."

男:"我就是幼稚我才有辦法追你那麼久."

女:"謝謝你喜歡我."

男:"我也喜歡當年喜歡著妳的我."

"像我們這種在背後放箭的才叫做真愛"

女："欸你有沒有聽過那個傳說 ."

男："想不到我很帥，已經變成傳說了唷!?."

"來碗超帥的光頭"

"青春是一场大雨，即时感冒了，也盼望再淋一次。"

:)

2011-11-14T21:14:00.003+08:00

只是希望，有个人能陪着我一起长大。

我不要。

2011-11-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

我讨厌，

却无法去改变。

因为你。

2011-11-13T22:52:00.002+08:00

我不会再傻傻地去追求一个不爱自己的人，

也不会傻傻地再去等待一个不爱自己的人。

更不会再傻傻地去爱一个不爱自己的人。

减肥！

2011-11-13T22:51:00.002+08:00

When tomorrow comes ,

I will say tomorrow again .

I'm right , you dosent care .

2011-11-13T22:48:00.003+08:00

I didnt want to run away from you ,

You're the one who make me feel so distant away .

2011-11-13T19:51:00.002+08:00

曾经，为你堕落的我，已经不想在堕落了。

对的人 ♥

2011-11-13T19:43:00.001+08:00

人的一生中要遇见很多人,茫茫人海中,总共要遇见三个人.

第一个是你最爱的人

第二个是最爱你的人

第三个共度一生的人

几时，我才能遇到第三个人呢？

我会一直等，一直等你的出现。

I'm afraid of hurting you .

2011-11-13T19:37:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry .

2011-11-13T08:41:00.003+08:00

Are you disappointed at me ?

Are you mad at me ?

I'm sorry if I'm the one make you depressed .

There is lotsa times that I wanted to talk to you be ur listener and cheer you up . But I dunno why and dunno what stopping me from doing that . I feel like its none of my business and I don't have the right to be ur listener ?

It's been quite some time since we last chat actually . I did realize that but I just dunno what to do . I don't know what I want yet . Nowadays I'm just afraid to talk or chat with someone .i don't know why .

You never find me too . You can always find me if you want but you didnt .

I wanted to be like a friend being by ur side but somehow i thought I don't have the right to . I can just wish for ur happiness .

Be happy . Everything will be okay :)

Genting Trip :)

2011-11-12T05:13:00.003+08:00

Having dinner at Gohtong Jaya :)

Beautiful scenery at Mushroom Farm :D

Starbucks Mocha :)

Came back from Genting last night . My sis drove us there .Luckily i was asleep for the half journey if not i bet i'll be vomiting out . HAHA .

When the nights come , we actually saw an orange colour moon . Too bad my camera is not good enough to take night scene , but it is really very beautiful . Plus , its still full moon . The moon look so unreal actually . I just cant take my eye off that moon . But i forget to look at the stars there , i remember that Genting actually has the most beautiful star scenery .

Feel like going there with my friends . Is one of my wish going genting with a bunch of friend . And when i grown up later , i would like to go on a genting trip with my boyfriend too . Walk in the cold air together . Look at the moon and stars together . Its been my dream to do that . But i guess it will take a long time too make that dream come true .

Not feelings too well now . Having headache and stomach pain :(

11.11.11 its actually not a good luck day for me . aiks

I hope 12.12.12 will be a better one .

Prosecutor Princess ♥

2011-11-11T15:29:00.004+08:00

Finally finish with prosector princess ! Guess what i finished this 17 hours drama in just two days time . You wouldnt know how mad i'm chassing this drama . I even watch till 1am yesterday . If my mum didnt stop me i would have watch it overnight .

I think they really should air this drama on 8tv . People who watches korean drama will definitely like it . And it has alot of moral values inside too .

But the most important thing is , Park Shi Hoo is really hot ! I would just scream out loud if i got the chance to meet him . *screams*

I wish that i can fly to korea now and meet him <3

Anyway , heading to genting for dinner later and for the cool air . Too bad we're not staying overnight or going for the theme park . Its been a long time since i went to the theme park :(

And , happy 11.11.11 .

Thou , its not really an important or memorable day for me . But still wish everyone will have a good day . Couples will stay forever and singles to find their true love .

*I want a hot korean boyfriend ! *

So cute ♥

2011-11-10T09:33:00.008+08:00

老兄，我再说一次

你再不把你的猫爪从我头上移开

就别怪我不客气！

I miss my cat :(

因为有你，我突然觉得很幸福 ♥

2011-11-09T23:09:00.002+08:00

亲爱的小玉，不知道为什么我突然很想你。

突然，好想对你说对不起。

突然，觉得因为你，我的生活变得有意义。

突然，觉得我不是孤单的。

突然，觉得我不是一个人的。

我还有你。

我觉得，好亏欠你。

其实对我来说，你更像我的姐姐。

所以，很多时候我都不会去关心你，不会去在乎你的感受。

因为，我觉得姐姐就是应该保护妹妹的。

哈哈，好笑吧？

和你在一起，我觉得很安心。

不需要做作，不需要寻找话题。

对我来说，你是我心中一个很特别的人。

可是，现在突然想起，我真的是一个很没义气的朋友。

对不起，从今以后我一定会更加珍惜你。

因为，我真的不想失去你。

我的好姐姐。

没什么事忘不了的 :)

2011-11-09T22:14:00.003+08:00

有时候，我们愿意原谅一个人，

并不是我们真的愿意原谅他，而是我们不想失去他。

不想失去他，唯有假装原谅他。

做一个诚实的孩子。

喜欢一个人，不到一定程度，不要轻易去说喜欢。

因为你的一句轻浮的话，很可能悲伤另一个人一段时光。

也有的，将会是，一生。

当时间过去，

我们忘记了我们曾经义无反顾地爱过一个人，

忘记了他的温柔，忘记了他为我做的一切。

我对他再没有感觉，我不再爱他了。

为甚么会这样？原来我们的爱情败给了岁月。

首先是爱情使你忘记时间，然后是时间使你忘记爱情。

大部分负心人的记性都是差劲的。

如果他的记性好，记得情人为他付出的一切，

记得当天多么甜蜜，他又如何能够忍心背弃她？

寂寞的人，感冒会拖得特别的久，因为她自己也不想痊愈。

好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界。

失望，有时候也是一种幸福。

因为有所期待，所以才会失望。

因为有爱，才会有期待。

所以纵使失望也是一种幸福，虽然这种幸福有点痛。

两个人在一起是为了快乐，分手时为了减轻痛苦，

你无法再令我快乐，我也唯有离开，

我离开的时候，也很痛苦，

只是，你肯定比我痛苦，因为我首先说再见，

首先追求快乐的是我。

如果没有很大把握，又或者没有坚定地信念，

请不要说太长久的承诺。

相爱时叫承诺，不爱的时候呢？

也不是谎言吧。

毕竟爱着的时候就算说了地久天长，相信也是出自真心。

只不过后来的离开，不是自己能把握的。

不要在爱情结束后，

把那个你曾经爱过的到处指责，将TA说的一无是处。

没必要的，既然留不住心，不如留下那份感情的纯洁度，

蒙了尘，也就减损了回忆的价值。

你以为不可失去的人，原来并非不可失去，

你流干了眼泪，自有另一个人逗你欢笑，

你伤心欲绝，然后发现不爱你的人，

根本不值得你为之伤心，

今天回首，何尝不是一个喜剧？

情尽时，自有另一番新境界，

所有的悲哀也不过是历史。

开始的开始总是甜蜜的

后来就有了厌倦、习惯、背弃、寂寞、绝望和冷笑

曾经渴望与一个人长相厮守，后来，多么庆幸自己离开了

曾几何时，在一段短暂的时光里，

我们以为自己深深的爱着的一个人。

后来，我们才知道

那不是爱，那只是对自己说谎。

同一个人，是没法给你相同的痛苦的。

当他重复地伤害你，那个伤口已经习惯了，感觉已经麻木了，

无论在给他伤害多少次，也远远不如第一次受的伤那么痛了。

时间会让你了解爱情，时间能够证明爱情，也能够把爱推翻。

没有一种悲伤是不能被时间减轻的。

如果时间不可以令你忘记那些不该记住的人，

我们失去的岁月又有什么意义？

一个钱币最美丽的状态，不是静止，

而是当它像陀螺一样转动的时候，没人知道，

即将转出来的那一面，是快乐或痛苦，是爱还是恨。

快乐和痛苦，爱和恨，总是不停纠缠。

爱情中最伤感的时刻是后期的冷淡，一个曾经爱过你的人，

忽然离你很远，咫尺之隔，却是天涯。

曾经轰轰烈烈，曾经千回百转，曾经沾沾自喜，曾经柔肠寸断。

到了最后，最悲哀的分手竟然是悄无声息。

世上最凄绝的距离是两个人本来距离很远，互不相识，

忽然有一天，他们相识，相爱。距离变得很近。

然后有一天，不再相爱了，本来很近的两个人，变得很远，甚至比以前更远。

一个承诺在最需要的时候没有兑现，那就是出卖，以後再兑现，已经没什么意思了。

我们总是不懂得珍惜眼前人？

在未可预知的重逢里，我们以为总会重逢，总会有缘再会，

总以为有机会说一声对不起，却从没想过每一次挥手道别，都可能是诀别，

每一声叹息，都可能是人间最后的一声叹息。

你遇上一个人，你爱他多一点，那么，你始终会失去他。

然后，你遇上另一个，他爱你多一点，那么，你早晚会离开他。

直到一天，你遇到一个人，你们彼此相爱

终于你明白，所有的寻觅，也有一个过程。

从前在天涯，而今咫尺。

爱情总是想象比现实美丽，

相逢如是，告别亦如是。

我们以为爱得很深、很深，

来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅、很浅。

最深最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。

# 愛、文章

You ♥

2011-11-09T22:08:00.004+08:00

每個人的心里都有一個想忘也忘不了的人。

就像你。

Be sincere .

2011-11-09T21:13:00.002+08:00

Love is not a game .

Lies .

2011-11-09T21:05:00.002+08:00

Big or small , lies are lies .

The things that matter is only the person who lies to you .

If the person you care so much lied to you , it will still hurt so much even if is just a small lie .

If the person who lied to you is just a stranger , you wouldnt feel much even if is a big lie .

Moonlight ♥

2011-11-09T20:53:00.002+08:00

*Random picture from internet .

Look at the moon tonight . Its so bright and round . A beautiful moon , surrounded by a star beside . Its like a sweet couple . A moon surrounded by only one star , its like a man who only love one person in his heart . And the star gives me a feeling like a wife supporting behind her husband no matter what happen .

Anyway , i had finish the drama Ijamae . Though i dont really understand the ending of the movie . Does Ijamae die or what ? LOL

***

Gonna continue with Prosecuter Princess tomorrow . Acted by Park Shi Hoo again . I'm so obsessed with this guy now <3

Its hurt .

2011-11-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

I guess nobody likes to get a reply with just a word when you've been thinking the whole day what to write to him to get the conversion on .

So please people , dont do something you even hate yourself to the other people .

And if you really gets a reply like this every time you texted someone, please stop texting them because he/she dosent care about you . They will just think you're annoying .

Dont make yourself look so cheap .

Once , i'm just a bitch like you .

2011-11-08T23:27:00.004+08:00

Once , i was just like her . Silly bitch .

Choose to believe him even though i know he was lying .

Believe him all the while , that he really loves me .

Cant help to smile when i sees him , no matter how i hate him .

But , not now .

He's past .

Now , i'm just waiting for the day i get over you . Like how i get over him after i met you .

But , at least , i think you are much better than him .

Even though you're a liar too .

But at least you admit that you're lying all the while .

Unlike him , useless guy .

I just wish that girl can realize how fucking asshole is him .

Girl , wake up , he's not worth it .

The Truth :)

2011-11-08T23:09:00.004+08:00

So stop judging people that is none of your business .

Judge yourself first .

Ijamae ♥

2011-11-08T22:54:00.005+08:00

Its 10.55p.m now . Just finish watching Ijamae episode 14 . Yea , i'm chasing this korean drama now . Its been a long time since this drama airing on TV , but i haven watch yet . I actually started watching because of Park Shi Hoo , the main actor of Princess Man . He's just so hawt ! Well , Lee Jun Ki is hot too . I dont know why i dont wanna watch this movie last time . Start to regret now .

Anyway , i realize that korea really has lotsa good looking guy . I wish i can go korea now . Maybe if i'm lucky i can meet one of my favourite actors on streets . Okay , i know i'm dreaming again . But they are just so hawwwttt !

Went playground today also . I get myself exercise to burn some fats off . But obviously , its not working . I can only run for one and a half round . My stamina really has gone worst . I can run at least 3 rounds last time one leh -.- Maybe because i'm fatter and heavier now . Aiks .

Gonna sleep now . Good night peoples :)

You Never Care .

2011-11-07T20:39:00.002+08:00

我想，如果你真的和她在一起，她一定会很幸福。

我想祝福你们，可是我发觉我做不到。

我，很羡慕她，能够拥有你的心。

知道吗？其实，我真的很想告诉你：“可以不要再找我吗？”

“可以不要再打扰我的生活吗？”

Be yourself .

2011-11-07T12:57:00.003+08:00

Sii te stesso e smettila di cercare di essere qualcun'altro.

Just Move On.

2011-11-07T12:53:00.001+08:00

Never Look Back , if you dont want to fill your eyes with tears .

2011-11-07T12:51:00.002+08:00

Its just you in my memories that i love , not you .

2011-11-07T12:38:00.011+08:00

2011-11-07T11:09:00.003+08:00

#754: envy is a waste of time.

Jealousy makes people ugly .

2011-11-07T10:24:00.005+08:00

I had a dream last night . I dreamed of him . I found out that the one he actually love all this while is one of my best friend . And one day , i was accompanying my best friend to see him . And he was with his another girlfriend . A girlfriend that always cling to him but he dosent even love . Then we meet up . The way he look at her and talk to her is really different than he does to anyone . The way he talk to her is so soft and sweet . As if they were really husband and wife . In my dream , i think i just wish them happiness and warn him not to hurt her like he does to other girl . Its like a mother marrying her daughter off .

And then i woke up , and i feel so heartbroken . But its just a dream . stupid dream .

I dont know why would i feel sad .I'm sure its not because of love . Maybe because of jealousy . Because he was once mine but not mine anymore . Because i feel unappreciated , thats why i'm jealous .

Why is it her but not me ?

Why can she has him , but i cant ?

Why can she go out with him , but i cant ?

Why can she go for a movie with him , but i cant ?

Why can she knows his whereabout all the time , but i cant ?

Why can she knows how his life is , but i cant ?

Why can he drives her back home , but not drive me back ?

Why can she always talk to him , but i cant ?

Why she has the reason to find him , but i dont have ?

Why she is the one staying beside him , but not me ?

Why the one he thinks of is not me , when i'm thinking about him ?

You see , i'm just jealous that someone takes over my place . I'm just jealous that he is living happier without me . I'm just jealous that his smile is no longer because of me . I'm just jealous that he dosent even care about me anymore . Whether i'm dead or alive , he dosent care anymore .

And then this jealousy turns into hatress and anger .

But reality is like that isnt it ? When someone meets a new one , we will just forget the old one , no matter how much we could die loving the old one yesterday . I'm like that too , its reality , so why bother about it ? But i just hate that so called reality . How can we forget someone so fast , when we were just saying i will love you forever yesterday ? How can yesterday our whole mind was about this guy , and tomorrow our whole mind is about different guy ? Isn't it so unfair ? You cant change the reality , you can only choose to change yourself to suit these unfairness in life .

Love is something so simple . But as we grows up , love becomes complicated . Just because human are complex machines -,-

I think when i grow up later , and think about the past , i will just laugh at myself . Just like how the elders will laugh at the teenage love .

My thoughts are becoming so negatively .

2011-11-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

But , actually i'm proud of my blog .

FML .

2011-11-06T21:51:00.012+08:00

You had already move on long time ago ,

but i'm still the only one left behind .

I'm stuck here with depression and frustration , and you're out that laughing out loud .

I guess none of my friend will still believe that i actually still think about you sometime . Because i myself dont even want to believe that i still thinks about you . Its kinda embarrasing you know ? For caring someone who maybe dosent even remember who you are . But yes , is a fact that i still thinks about you .

Sometimes i even wanted to curse you so much , you know ?

I got that feeling that , seriously i dont the hell love you anymore . But ,the reason for me still being like this , and stuck behind is because i'm not satisfied the way you act . The way that i even now dont understand a thing about you , and the way that you act like u never care . Its so cruel .

Just now , when i was staring out of the car window , i thought of something . I found out i myself are becoming someone so selfish , unsatisfied and ungrateful . And , because of this stupid emotional attitude , i'm losing a lot of thing . I couldnt find someone to go out with , or talk to , or laugh together anymore .

Because of my selfishness , I hate my school .

Because of my selfishness , I hate my home .

Because of my selfishness , I hate myself .

Because i'm ungrateful , i loses my friends .

Because i'm ungrateful , i loses myself .

Because i'm unsatisfied , i make myself depressed .

Because i'm unsatisfied , i blamed my friends .

Because i'm unsatisfied , i blamed my parents .

Because i'm unsatisfied , i blamed you .

Its actually not your fault , you know ? Its just that i'm finding someone to hate and curse just to ease myself a little . Because i couldnt hate anyone . I dont have anyone to hate , I dont have any reason to hate , other that you . To you , i got a reason to hate you . But actually , the one i hate , its not you . The one i hate , is myself . Myself for being a loser and failure .

Because of all this , i feel so lonely .

And , i'm just fifteen years old .

I'm just fifteen years old , i just keep thinking about stupid love stuff . Isn't it that too inappropriate for the age of mine . I shouldn't even think about it . You know , its like i will think that , there is so much other thing than love in life , why should i waste my time only on it ? Why i want to stuck myself in depression and waste my time thinking about why someone who once said love me dosent love me now ? Or , why things turn out like this ? Or , what does he actually thinks of for the whole time ? Or , whatever other love-thing stuff ?

I guess , now i really hate anything about having a boyfriend or being in a relationship or whatever love stuff . Maybe , i'm just too young for it . And i'm really tired of it . I'm tired of missing someone , i'm tired of loving someone , and i'm tired of getting hurt all over again for the same stupid reason .

I guess , i'm really just a coward .

Heart- Aching .

2011-11-06T13:46:00.009+08:00

KD - The Princess's Man '公主的男人'

Its a nice korean drama that i've been watching for the past few days . Really worth it to watch if you guys likes korean dramas . Its a tragic love story thou . Its kinda like the romeo and juliet story line . *heartache* But still its nice .

Well , but i guess i first watch this drama is because the main actor and actress are quite good looking . haha , whatever , i'm still a 15 year old girl okay ?

LOL

My mum and dad is still watching this movie downstairs . And i had already finish it few days ago . I guess i really has lotsa free time to watch movies and blablablabla .

Gonna download the OST soon . Their song are nice too . Sad songs are always heart-touching lar .

2011-11-06T12:21:00.006+08:00

为什么事到如今，

我还要一个人自导自演？

Good Morning :D

I know its not morning already , its already 12:26 pm . But still i just woke up not long ago . So .. And i think its been a long time since i slept till 11 am . Kinda shock when i look at the clock this morning . Thanks for my mum for not waking me up at 9 am today .

曾经，我希望你真心过。

曾经，我很不要脸的先找你了，

但得来的却是你的敷衍。

我可以很若无其事的对着你，

但其实我的心在滴血。

曾经，我是多么的不想放你走。

Once , i actually just wanted the truth from you .

如今，我希望我从没拥有你，
我想或许这样的话，我不会那么心痛。

Now , i wish i had never fall for you .

Now , i dosent even want to listen to your name .
Because it still hurts .

现在，我只想说再也不见。

现在，我只想把你忘记。

One day , if we meet again ,

I wish , i could just be like an old friend saying "hi" to you .

2011-11-05T21:49:00.012+08:00

Okay people , i'm back again .

Hell why ? Its just because i seriously need to type out something . I felt that my finger really miss those days when i keep typing and typing . I guess that feelings its better then typing on a touch screen phone . Because you can feel the 'spongy' feeling of the keyboard and the typing sound that makes thing so real . I guess its also because my finger is getting numb as its been a long time since i play the piano too . And i really feel like exercising my fingers .

LOL . I guess i'm really going mad again this time .

And i'm getting lazier and fatter .

...

Well , actually the main point is i am hell bored now and i couldnt think of anything other then typing . And if i continues to stare at my comp and stare at my wall , i will surely get myself killed one day . No not get killed , i will eventually kill myself one day . Because the frustrations and depression gonna make me insane . My mind just keep running by itself , thinking about useless stuff that i shouldnt be thinking of and drive me crazy .

Why the hell are you crashing into my life once again when i almost forget thats still person i once so fucking loved exits in this world ? And i'm not gonna let me ruin myself once again because of you . No , in fact , you already ruin my life . And i still finding ways out to get myself service and repair . What do you want from me ?

You know , i really hate you so much that i wish that i never meet you . So much , that i wish i had never ever fall for you . I hate the fact so much , that i once loved the hell of you so deep . I seriously hate that stupid fact . I know , i once tell you and i once wish that we could still be friends . But now , seriously i think that i couldnt be friends with you anymore . How am i suppose to continue being your friend when i know that i once loved you so deep and end up getting so hell hurt by you ? I know , i told you that i dont hate you , and hell yeah i mean it . But now , i really hate you so damn much . And i dont know why am i thinking about you again .

Its been days since i last thing about you , you know ?

But why are you appearing in my life again ?

Fucking son of the bitch .

And fuck myself . Because even if now that i hate you so much , i can fully forget how much i had hate you if i'm talking to you now . Thats why i once said that , i dont hate you . Because when i'm talking or chatting or doing whatsoever thing with you , i never hate you . Not even a single feeling of hatress . But now , i'm glad that i'm not talking with you , because i can continue hating you like hell now . At least for now .But I guess , when i finish this post , i won be hating you already . I think so .

But you never did anything wrong . Its just my fault that falls for you . Its just all my fault . My fault for even thinking of you now . My fault for being so foolish and stupid now . And my fault for still browsing your stupid facebook wall . You know , not that i care , its just that , a habit is hard to change . Its been months that i viewed your profile for ten times or more a day . And if u want to change it immediately now , its really hard . But dont worry , i wont stalk you as much as i used to be last time . I've already tried not to view your profile and not think about you .

I seriously hate mosquito . I already had some mosquito's bite on my whole body -.-

...

God , i really feel like leaving this place .

Can you give me a new world and new life ?

I'm just being over mature for the age of mine now .

At the age of sixteen , i should have just hang out with my dearly friends and laugh for any foolish reason and not thinking it is really just stupid reasons .

I wanted to erase all my past memories , no matter it is beautiful or sad .

I just want to go somewhere with new air and new environment .

I guess i'm really sick of life .

I'm only sixteen years old , and i'm already sick of life .

Why ?

I blamed everyone who making me these way .

I blamed myself for not finding a way out of this fucking situation .

I blamed myself for being so foolish and stupid and lazy and depressed and hopeless .

Owh , whatsoever .

I just hate myself .

And i know , i'm not grateful .

I know that , but still , i really hate myself .

For whatever reason it is , the conclution is just , i just hate everything about myself .

And that is what making me so hopeless now .

2011-09-23T22:29:00.006+08:00

久违了，我的部落格。

Seems that i still couldnt really put away everything and forget everything . I couldnt bare to delete my blog , just because it contains lotsa memories .

Maybe because my horoscope said that im someone who live in memories ?

Or , maybe i just want some place to write my feelings . Because i really think that i'm going crazy .

My heart ache like hell .

Yea , its still bleeding . It keeps bleeding and wouldnt stop .

But my tears are still not flowing .

It hurts like hell when i see that change of status .

But , WHY DO I STILL NEED TO CARE ABOUT IT ?!

Its funny right ? I feel that its so funny , really really funny . Everyone must be thinking im so funny .

haha ...

Well , why i love him ? I dunno , i just couldnt forget him . And its just hurt like hell when i'm thinking about him . Its just hurt like hell when i sees or hears his name .

I've been craving for his warmness everynight . Funny right ? Ya , its becoming funnier .

I wanted to forget him , but i can't.

I wanted to forget him , but i don't want !

Serve me right , right ? I know , serve me right , i deserve it .

I just hate the fact that , love is so cheap !

...

If time could turn back , i will make everything goes right .

But , no matter how much i wished for it , it'll never ever turn back.

2011-08-15T08:41:00.006+08:00

...

我真的很痛苦

...

2011-08-11T13:50:00.008+08:00

我真的很想哭啊！

...

我真的了解为什么有人会割脉。

因为就好像玉莲说的：＂看着血流的感觉真的很爽。＂

LOL

...

活着到底有什么意义呢？

有时候我真的会这样问自己。

...

2011-08-10T13:30:00.002+08:00

我竟然破纪录了！

昨晚竟然读书读到半夜三点!

而且是越读越爽那种 =.=

可是今天的考试为什么还是考到一塌糊涂啊？

D;

...

看来我今晚不用睡了TT

...

说实话，我觉得我迟早会变成吸血鬼了。

=...=

2011-08-09T13:44:00.003+08:00

Anyway ignore the last post . 12 wouldnt be 12 if the students arent excellent . I just need to put more effort and study hard and sleep less =...=

Well , but sometimes i'm grateful that i have some kind of sleeping sickness .

LOL

Back to topic . There's something that i've wanted to share since very long time ago . I was actually waiting the day i revive my facebook to post it , but i really couldnt wait for it already .

Because , he is fcuking toooo amazzzinggggg !

Okay , i think few weeks ago ? well its actually middle of july i think ? I've start watching a korean drama called CITY HUNTER acted by Lee Min Ho . And of course i've fall obbesesively in love with him .

He iss justt soooo amazzzing , sooo coool , soooo fcuking handsome , and sooo damn tall . LOL

Really , i couldnt stop myself from shouting if i sees him .

Okay , i know i'm crazy . Well i'm just a little too crazy ? cuz i really couldnt help it .

RAWRRRR.

Anyway there's some video of cut scene from that drama . Its a pretty nice drama , mostly because of him .

Awwwwwwww so sweet ;p

I know there's still few days for my trial exam .

But Lee Min Ho is just way too perfectly amazing !

I bet if i didnt deactivate my facebook , my wall post will be full of videos about him XD

2011-08-09T13:33:00.004+08:00

妈的。

...

我真的感到很自卑。

...

我班的人到底是不是人啊？

...

突然发觉，每个接近我的人，都会问过我一句话

" 你到底是怎样考进12的？"

...

我真的很无言。

...

LOL

2011-08-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

以前的我，

就算累了，倦了

也有你在身边

以前的我，

就算难过了，伤心了，

想起你，所有的不快乐都会消失。

募然回首，你却已经不在了，
只剩下我独自一人在原地里徘徊。

现在的你，开始厌倦了爱情，
现在的你，开始讨厌了爱情，
那，你会不会连我也开始讨厌了呢？

其实，我知道你也累了，所以才决定放你走。

可，虽说过要放弃你，
自己其实一点也不想放弃你，
自己其实一点也不想忘记你。

因为爱你，我没有再恨你，
因为爱你，所以决定还你自由。

或许没有我，你会活得更好，
或许没有我，你不会那么疲惫，
或许没有我，你才会遇到一个更好的女子，
或许没有我，你会更快乐。

...

Sorry that I love you .
I'll back off so you can live better ... :)

2011-08-07T14:22:00.005+08:00

你现在那里?

我每天都在想你,
想念你身边空气,
想念你坏坏眼睛。

你现在那里?
我每天都在回忆,
回忆搞笑的相遇,
回忆悲伤的结局。

你还记得这首歌吗？
...

我最近是怎么了？怎么老是想起你呢？
而且，时间过得还真快啊。

Sent from my iPhone

2011-07-31T09:52:00.009+08:00

Damn !

Stupid sejarah . Stupid geografi . Stupid Kemahiran Hidup . Stupid Science .

STUPID EXAM !

...

No matter how hard i tried to close my ear , No matter how hard i try to shut myself from thinking about you . Your voice just keep ringing in my mind . Especially those midnight calls we used to have .

I know i know i know ,

I should just forget about you since i've already let go .

I shouldnt put anymore hope on you since you dont even care anymore .

I shouldnt look back anymore since you will never ever come back .

I shouldnt think about our future since we had already end here .

I know , i know and i know . I really knew it .

But i just dont want to .

I dont want to forget you . I dont wanna forget those days you're by myside .

I just don't want .

Even if i get dissapointed everytime , even if its hurt . I just dun want to forget you .

Its not that i want you to come back to me, Its just that i wish you were still with me .
And i already knew it wont happen , because you are already not with me .

So , what is that im still struggling for ?

2011-07-18T18:09:00.005+08:00

你知道吗？我的心真的很痛;(

我做不到像你那么绝情，

我做不到像你那么潇洒。

我只觉得，我快疯掉了。

窒息的痛，甚至有种想把刀刺进心中的感觉。

想起，都有点恐怖吧.

不过，放心，既然选择把你放下，不过再痛再难过，我都会把你忘记。

或许，一天？

或许，一个月？

或许，一年？

我都会把你忘记。

我不想再想起你，我不想再知道你的一切，我只想消失在你眼前。

我想活得快乐。

竟然完成不了承诺，为什么还要做出承诺呢？

难道，你真的认为，女人的心是拿来践踏的吗？

不知道为什么，我总觉得我对你的恨，会掩盖着我对你的爱。

或许这样更好吧！

恨着一个人，比爱着一个人少痛苦。

关于你的一切，我不忍心删除。

我只能把那些回忆封锁起来。

或许，等到有一天，我不爱你了，

我会把它们拿出来，祭奠我们死去的爱情。

2011-07-17T19:54:00.002+08:00

One day when the sky is falling ,

I'll standing right next to you .

- Next to you , Justin Bieber .

39 times . I've been listenng to this song for 39 times repeatedly . And , each time i listen to it , i could still the stabbing pain in my heart . Each time i listen to it . Each time .

Liar .

Why would you made that promise to me , when u knew that u could never make it ?

Its like 39 knives stabbing in my heart . Its so hurt .

2011-07-17T09:22:00.004+08:00

But i'm grateful .

you know why ? Because you gave me a chance to love you .

Do you still remember what i've said when we first get together ?

I just wanted to love you once .

I just want to love you for 24 days .

And you gave me more time than that .

But , next time , i wouldnt hurt myself for someone who dont love me anymore .

Next time , i will only love someone who really love me .

2011-07-17T09:10:00.003+08:00

You'll never know , the truth of this blog.

2011-07-17T08:50:00.003+08:00

Fullstop . Thats the end of our story .

Yesterday , i finally realize that , the one that i've love, its gone .

The one i love , is dead .

He's dead.

And , He'll never come back .

I'm healing . And it'll takes time . A very long time maybe ?

There's no perfect promise .

There's no forever .

Its just a lie . Everything is just a lie .

Next time , i will keep my heart to myself ,

Next time , i will find someone who cares me more then i cares .

Next time , i will find someone who loves me more than i do .

Next time , i will find someone with a true heart .

Next time , i will find someone who can be with me whenever i need .

Next time , i will find someone next to me , sharing my sad and sorrow .

Next time , i will find someone who can give me happiness and also be happy .

Next time , i will still love that someone my whole heart .

Next time , i will find someone who loves me .

It'll takes time . A very very long time . To forget you . To not to love you anymore .

2011-07-07T19:14:00.004+08:00

怎么那么突然呢？

我真的好像知道为什么哦，我该问吗？

是我的错吗？我做错了什么？

为什么，要离开我？

为什么，要骗我？

为什么，明明早上还好好的，现在就不要理我了？

为什么？为什么？为什么？

在别人面前，我不能脆弱，我只能装，装坚强。

可是，一个人的时候，我真的装不下去了。

我真的很心痛，我真的很想哭。

可以告诉我，为什么吗？

要绝，就彻底绝阿，狠狠的伤害我啊，让我可以彻底忘记，让我可以彻底放手！

告诉我，你不爱我了，让我相信，你不爱我了，让我知道，你真的不爱我了。

这样，我就不会再抱着希望，这样我就不会有理由爱着你了。

求你，告诉我，你不爱我了！

2011-07-06T18:17:00.004+08:00

吃醋的要命，你都不知道:(

我不知道我们之间怎么了，总感觉我们之间的距离越来越远了。

我对你的生活，一点也不了解。

我不知道你每天在做什么。

你身边的人我一个都不认识。

你每天在想什么，我真的都不知道。

我真的好像有种感觉，我的黄智豪已经死了。

你，已不再属于我了，

你的心，已不再属于我一个人了。

这种感觉，好可怕哦，

你是不是就快离开我了啊？

我有时候真的没办法再这么乐观下去了，

远距离的爱情，真的很心痛。

感觉上如果你在这样一次又一次的骗我，玩我，

我真的会很不安，我真的会以为你不在乎我了，

我真的会以为，你不爱我了。

怎么办？我心很痛。

看着你和你的一班同学打打闹闹，我却不在，我真的吃醋的要命。

我知道，每个人自己的私人空间，

可是我真的好想要你只属于我一个人的。

但，我知道我不能那么自私，

我只希望你能够多在乎一点我的感受，

因为不管我多坚强，也只是一个女人。

我想要很多很多的爱，我想要很多很多你的爱。

或许，我想多了:'(

2011-07-04T20:16:00.009+08:00